Meredith A. Jones, ESG Expertise

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Getting Jiggy With It

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Music is an important part of my daily life. Whether I’m ignoring other passengers on a plane whilst rocking out under my favorite Beats by Dr. Dre headphones, dancing out a bad day in my kitchen, or scaring little kids at the ice skating rink with my early morning musical selections, the music I listen to is a great indicator of my mood and a reasonable barometer for my life at any given time.

In fact, many of my regular readers have noted that there is almost always a song lyric hidden somewhere in my blog postings, and I have even occasionally been challenged to work in specific lyrics - a challenge that is almost always accepted, by the way.

It’s perhaps no surprise then that as I was winging home from yet another conference on Friday afternoon, I began to think about my various fund manager and investor conversations over the prior two days and decided that maybe what the investment industry really needs is a playlist.

That’s right, we all need a break from chasing capital, being chased for capital, due diligence, the low return environment, watch lists and pitch books, so why not get down and get funky? 

So without further ado, here are reasonably comprehensive musical stylings for nearly every fund manager and investor mood. The song list and use cases are below, and I’ve even created a Spotifly playlist for those of you who want to break out your best Carlton Banks dance moves. 

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Money” - The Flying Lizards – For both investors and fund managers, because isn’t that what this business is all about?

I Need A Dollar” – Aloe Blacc – For pre-launch fund managers in search of their initial funds.

Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want” – The Jealous Girlfriends – For any fund manager about to go into yet another meeting after a string of ‘maybe in 6 months, in 1 year, when you get to XX dollars.’

Uprising” – Muse – Been blocked out of an opportunity by a gatekeeper or a bigger fund? This song will build your motivation to overcome them and succeed.

Price Tag” – Jessie J – Been blocked out of an opportunity by a gatekeeper or a bigger fund? This song may help you keep that loss in perspective and your blood pressure in check.

Patience” – Guns-N-Roses – Investors should have this playing in the background as fund managers wait in the conference room…

How Soon Is Now” – The Smiths – …while fund managers who are on their third, fourth or fifth meeting in months hum this under their breath.

What Have You Done For Me Lately” – Sharon Jones & The Dap Kings – Question that should be asked by every investor to their long-time funds.

Shake It Off” – Us The Duo – Get a bad due diligence rating from a consultant? Fix the problems and shake it off.

Every Breath You Take” – The Police – How every investor I know feels at the end of a conference.

Just Got Paid” - *NSYNC – You got an allocation! Woot!

Mo Money, Mo Problems”  - The Notorious B.I.G. – Sure it’s great to gather more assets under management, but as you do, you’ll have to spend more time thinking about your business, operations, compliance, staffing, etc. And it may be harder to generate returns. Being bigger isn’t always glamorous. (Explicit Lyrics)

Money For Nothing” – Dire Straights – What anyone outside of the investment industry probably thinks about your job.

Billionaire” -  Travie McCoy & Bruno Mars – The morning prayer of every emerging fund manager. (Explicit Lyrics)

Did I Shave My Legs For This” – Deena Carter - For any investor who’s walked out of a meeting with a fund manager that was ridiculously off the mark based on size, performance, fund age, experience, drawdowns, strategy, etc. That was an hour of your life you’ll never get back.

Fighter” – Christina Aguilera – When an investment you thought was great, isn’t.

I’m Still Standing” – Elton John – When you are coming back from a drawdown.

Everybody Knows” – Concrete Blonde – When you’ve been trying to gather assets for months and keep seeing bigger funds get bigger, even if your performance is better. This one may require a stiff drink.

Somebody’s Watchin’ Me” – Rockwell – Oh the joy of being on an investor’s or consultant’s watch list.

Extraordinary” – Liz Phair – You know that if investors ever got to know you, they’d want to give you money!

Holding Out For A Hero” – Bonnie Tyler – Investors see hundreds of funds a year – this should be playing as they walk down the hall into yet another meeting.

We Are The Champions” – Queen – When you get your first institutional allocation.

"Don't You Want Me" - Human League - When an investor or gatekeeper won't take your calls or schedule a meeting with you. ('You know I can't believe it when I hear that you won't see me...')

Have You Met Miss Jones” – Tony Bennett – When you read my blog postings. 

Got suggestions for songs I didn’t include? Sound off in the comments below. And happy listening!